well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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