I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
