I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
