It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
