In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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