Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
