didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
