you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
