I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
40s are totally the cure
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
