I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
