Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
