My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
