I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
