he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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