One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
420 ftw
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
