these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
