Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
