she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
