is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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