I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
