Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
