Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
