We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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