I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she told me i tasted like america
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
