So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
