69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
