bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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