for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
