my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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