I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
