her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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