there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
