My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
