Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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