I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
