well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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