I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
