is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
