I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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