Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
