Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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