did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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