So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
