you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
