Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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