you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
