I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
