Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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