Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
