i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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